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2017
פברואר
108
אדריכלות ישראלית
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עמרי רבס - מעצב תעשייתי
95
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In an era of shaming, if anyone feels he’s got something he isn’t terribly proud of, he should speak out
before someone else does. So here: 116 years after the establishment of the Jewish National Fund the
State Comptroller came to the surprising conclusion that Jewish National Fund directors distribute billions to
whoever they wish. Surprising, because I myself have known this for many years. After I was expelled from
school for writing a love letter to my teacher Galya, who - having no home - slept over at school, I shouldered
the bag of hormones I inherited from my father and went to work in the JNF offices until my recruitment.
After a ten-minute training of sorts I was put in charge of the State shnorer's multi plug switchboard. And so,
with the headphones of a pilot without a plane, I listened with the zeal of a 17 year colt to the most private
conversations of the CEO, department heads, and secretaries.
I remember as if it were yesterday getting goose flesh when I realized that the horny fantasies about my
Galya paled in comparison to the betrayals and intrigues of the heads of JNF. The innocent box to which I
had faithfully contributed savings from selling bottles every week, underwent a cognitive transformation; I
understood that the blue box had nothing to do with the color of the flag stupidly and proudly flown without
asking too many questions.
Today, everyone knows and for some reason think it normal that financiers should navigate our confounded
State. But what worries me most is the naiveté of the Comptroller who wonders how come the government
doesn’t supervise those who rob its coffers. Come on Shapira… since when does a calf complain about the
cow who feeds it the milk of kindness with unceasing devotion… it’s against the laws of evolution…
Crestfallen at this Darwinian paradox, I turned to God and there (on Google) it is written that the Jewish
National Fund was established “to redeem land in Eretz Israel”; that it played a key role in the decision to
establish the State; and that the governing institutions led by Ben Gurion ran the country from the very same
building I once sat in with the headphones of a pilot without a plane.
About two weeks ago, the National Transport
Infrastructure Company PR announced that Road
1 will now open with new technology, shortening
travel time from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem to 35
minutes. Recalling that at the time my father was
risking his life twice a day accompanying convoys,
travel time to Jerusalem took two hours, I put on
my best clothes and went out of my mind to look at
the miracle.
And I must say, that after about ten years of abuse,
billions poured into any open pocket, and road
accidents that could fill two graveyards, I discovered
to my astonishment a two-lane, bumpy, obstacle-
ridden road, with illogical angles that occasionally
encourage overturning - and it occurred to me
that whoever designed the project, which would
have been designed a hundred times better in any
other backward country - was probably a first-year
student – the son or cousin of the party activist who
got him a summer vacation job.
With a great deal more experience than the time
I served in the JNF as a pilot without a plane, I
understood that this ambitious project was actually
intended to reduce the number of private cars, and shorten the time it takes to get to the next world. It dawned
on me that the Gate of Mercy would remain sealed until the coming of the Messiah, but the dead on their way
to the capital may never rise again.
Dear Comptroller, keep up your sacred work, we are all behind you, but, be careful, evolution works overtime
on the way to Jerusalem.
Architect Dr. Ami Ran
J.N.Fun
editorial